BrittyBratt, 17

Stuff Going On

BrittyBratt, 17

I never thought that it would happen to him. Out of all the people in my family why did he have to commit suicide?

My Uncle Shawn, who was my best friend and my brother, had committed suicide a couple years ago. He lived with me, I knew everything he did or was doing and I was always with him.

I recently started talking about it to my parents (my grandparents) and they told me that it wasn't suicide. It was an accident. But, I don’t understand how you can shoot yourself in the head, right between your eyes, on accident.

Why after 5 years are they telling me it was accidental???

BrittyBratt dealing with the death of a loved one can be very difficult, especially when you are confused about the how and why or you feel people are not being completely honest with you. Hang in there, things will get better with time.
It is good that you are talking about it and getting your feelings out in the open. Keeping your feelings bottled up on the inside can be very dangerous. If the people you are talking with are not helping you or you feel they are not being completely honest you may want to consider finding someone else to talk to such as a friend, counselor, religious leader, or another family member.
Keeping a journal is also a good way to get your feelings out and work through your issues.
If you are confused about what really happened and you think it is important to know, you might want to do some research. Talk to other people he knew (do not put yourself in danger), inquire about a police report, etc...
Remember the good times. Regardless of the cause of his death it is quite clear that you cared very much for your uncle, so don't forget that. Hang on to your good memories and think about them often. Remember why you loved him and how important he was in your life. Even though you miss him remembering the good parts of when he was alive will help make things easier.