Molly, 15

Stuff Going On

Molly, 15

My parents got divorced because my dad cheated on my mum. I was 12 when it happened and I was so angry I used self harm to cope. I'm 15 now. I don't self harm anymore but I'm scared I'm going to again. I go to my mum's for a week and then to my dad's for a week. I feel like I live out of a suitcase. I just want to live with my mum and have no contact with my dad. Both my parents don't listen when I say only want to live with my mum. I know the only way they will listen is if I use self harm. I don't want to go back to self harm, but I know they will listen that way. I'm scared and I'm lost. I just want to live in one house with my mum. What should I do?

Molly, it's great you want to talk about your situation and wonderful you have stopped cutting. It's always good to think things through thoroughly before acting.
Self-harm (cutting)is the visual expression of the pain one is feeling when one has difficulty expressing oneself verbally.
Perhaps you could ask to speak to your parents together at a family meeting,of sorts. Explain that you want to speak with them about something very important to you. Be prepared to offer a compromise or two for consideration by your parents. Be sure to explain how the transient lifestyle is affecting your daily life.
Try keeping a daily journal. Write down your daily events and activities along with your thoughts and feelings. You could use your journal as a guide for when you sit down with your parents. It will also help you recognize what may be triggering your urge to self harm.
In the meantime, when you get an urge to self-harm, it's important to immediately do something else instead. That might be listening to some soothing music, taking a warm bath, taking a long walk, punching a bed pillow or even calling a friend. Each time you realize you can get through that feeling of crisis without cutting, it will get easier and easier. Remember, it's okay to get some professional help by way of counseling.