lost747, 19

Stuff Going On

lost747, 19

I'm straight and have had girlfriends. One day it started out as a good friendship with a guy, always talking, hanging out and playing games. One night it turned more than that. A little bit of alcohol was involved and a one-night stand occurred. This happened twice. Now we hardly speak and it is hard to keep a conversation going with him. I'm all confused and need help on what to do. I don't want to pursue any sort of relationship and I don't want to lose a good friend. Also, do I want this to happen again? I don't know. I'm lost and it has been bothering me for days now. Help?

lost747, your confusion is understandable. It's okay to examine your situation and good you are giving it some thought.
Labels such as gay and straight don’t always fit a person comfortably. It's human nature to want to categorize things neatly in order to make sense of them and to better understand ourselves and the world around us. Don't feel pressured to label your sexual orientation right now. It could be that you and your friend were just experimenting sexually as so many people do.
Imagine a line. At one end is gay and at the other is straight. There are many points in-between like: people who aren’t sure, or people who had same-sex relationships in the past but identify as straight now, or people who are bisexual but strongly prefer one sex over the other etc. There are no handy labels for all the ways people feel and behave and there are no rights and wrongs either. So, just relax and let time and your changing mind and body help you figure out what you like and want.
It is probable your friend is struggling with the same questions, thoughts and feelings as you. Maybe you could suggest a serious talk with your friend so you can each express what you are feeling and thinking.
No matter what kind of relationship,along with trust, communication is the most important thing to master. It's vital to talk openly and honestly about your feelings in a calm and considered way. Hiding how you feel, telling your friend what you think they want to hear, or communicating via arguments, will damage the relationship. Talking honestly and openly will enable you to get to know each other better and solve problems. On the other hand, arguing or ignoring problems creates distance between you. If you’ve got something to say - say it!