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Raining Fire, 15

Two years ago (in eighth grade), around this time of the year, I was in a bad accident in which I suffered internal bleeding from a kidney and my spleen. (Sorry, I'm trying not to make it graphic.) I ended up having my kidney removed because it couldn't be fixed. I spent a long time in the hospital having problem after problem and missed over two months of school. After I got back, the teachers didn't try at all to catch me up (e.g., they never sent me homework); and the year before that, I had the same teacher as I did in sixth grade, and she just taught us the same stuff as she taught us in sixth grade for seventh grade. So, the things I missed in eighth grade... I was still at sixth grade level. I don't know how I passed ninth grade!(Math is the problem.) It's stressing me out so much! At the start of ninth grade, around the same time as the accident but a year later, my best friend's dad committed suicide. I have been trying my very hardest to help her through this rough time in her life, but she is not taking any help. It has been stressing me out a lot too and the fact that she keeps telling me she doesn't want to be in our friends' group anymore. But I do, and I don't if I should choose her and her new friends that think I'm a freak or my new friends; and now since about last Christmas, my mom has been being tested for MS, as she has had a few strokes and stuff lately. I never talk about any of this to anyone; none of my new friends know about the accident. I have also been cutting since I got out of the hospital from it when I was 13. No one has a clue. I need some help, and I now want to talk but not to someone I know.

Whats it Mean ?

  • Raining Fire, it's natural for you to feel so stressed out and overwhelmed after all that you've been experiencing since your accident.
  • Since there really is a lot for you to take all at once, try to take things one at a time. If you're concerned about catching up in school and your teachers aren't providing you the assistance that you need, you might want to talk to your parents about it. Then consider approaching your teachers; let them know that you are serious about learning at your grade level. Talk to your school counselor about getting academic help whether it be with tutoring or extra lessons after school. If math is a major issue, consider talking to your math teacher; even if it's a tough conversation to have, you'll want to take advantage of all the resources you have available to you so that you can get to where you want to be academically. The more help you get with your education, the less stressful it can be for you.
  • If your friend is having a hard time coping with her father's loss and doesn't seem very open to talking about it, just let her know that you're there for her and that you want to continue being her friend. It might not be a good idea to pressure her into talking about it; consider letting her approach you when she's ready to be open about her feelings. If she needs to distance herself, think of it as her way of coping, her way of dealing with what has happened.
  • Keep in mind that cutting or hurting yourself won't solve the problems or make them go away. If you're concerned about your mom, talk to her. There's no point in keeping all the stress inside, especially if it's causing you to do self-harm. If you feel that you can't open up to anyone and that you really can't talk to anyone close at this time, consider checking out our Teen Help-Line page for a list of local numbers for counselors who can help you and hear you out.
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