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l0rna, 14

Recently, I found out that my dad meets prostitutes, like escorts. I had known that my dad has been looking at pictures and things like that, but I assumed that it was normal for boys and men to do that. Then my mom told me that he actually meets them and pays them with our money. Money that he could spend on more important things, like sending me to a performing arts school I want to go to or helping with my sisters university fees. The worst part is that he knows that my mom knows. She confronted him about it in December, and she said, "You have broken my heart," and he said to her 'well what do you expect me to do?' I honestly hate him for all the damage he has caused on this family. I just cannot come to terms with him meeting these women. I mean it would be okay if he were having an affair with someone he loved. Of course, it would be better if he did not have an affair at all, but it is the fact that he does not even know these women. They could have all sorts of STDs or anything. I just cannot believe he is being too stupid, immature, and heartless. I wish he knew how many times I have cut myself over him. I keep getting scared that he is going to start sexually abusing me because of what he does. I wish I had a different dad.

Whats it Mean ?

  • l0rna, you have every right to feel angry about your father's behavior. Your finding out about this must have shaken you a great deal. It is good your mother confronted him, and you were there for her in a time of stress. Remember, your father made his own choices.
  • Try to stay out of it. This is an adult situation where you could not be of any help. It is understandable you want to help your mother, but this is something only your parents can sort out. You might consider staying with another close relative for the time being until your parents come to some resolution on their relationship. Try keeping your mind on your schoolwork, so you do not fall behind.
  • Consider talking to a counselor or spiritual leader. Talking about your feelings with someone might help you come to terms with your situation. Try discussing how you feel about your father's behavior. Consider sharing your fear of possible sexual abuse. It might be a good idea to disclose any past childhood abuse at your father's hands. If you still feel there is a threat of harm to you, consider calling the local authorities.
  • If you get the urge to cut yourself again, you might try another activity. Many people might turn to a punching bag, writing poetry or playing music as a way to relieve stress. If you feel comfortable, try talking to your mother about your fears as well. Some people might snap a thin rubber band or elastic bracelet around their wrist when they feel the urge to hurt themselves.
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