miley7307, 12

Stuff Going On

miley7307, 12

I have asked for advice on here already and I have tried the advice. There is this girl we don't want in our group and she keeps pushing her way in at sitting with us at lunch! My friends and I can't be alone, EVER! It's gotten so bad that now she pushes her way into our after-school plans. I told her nicely to please leave us alone. We said we don't like her, only because of her actions in the past and not that we naturally don't like her. We can never be alone and she follows us on Main Street and we tell her to leave us alone. I wish she would move to a different school or something. We told her we don't like her, too. She slept over my house yesterday because she found out about my sleepover with my friends, and my mom said " don't leave anyone out", and it's annoying. How can I get her to leave us alone? I told her what she did to us and that's why we don't like her and she denies it. We can't tell secrets with each other because she's always there and she has the biggest mouth. If we refuse to tell her, she tells the principal the next day at schoool and they are like "no secrets at school" and it's so annoying! Come on... this is 7th grade and she won't leave us alone. Help me, please!

miley7307, it must be very frustrating to have someone insist on being with you and your friends when you have made it clear that you don't want her there. You've practically spelled it out that you don't like her. It's unfortunate that it had to get to that point.
Since she is not taking a hint, we must consider what she is gaining from doing this. It's obvious that she is getting some attention, good, bad or otherwise, from this; so that might be what it's all about. Sometimes people will take any kind of attention, rather than have no attention at all.
If what you are doing is not working, it's time to try something else. When this girl sits at your table, or enters your circle of friends after school, simply say "Hi, Susie". There is no need to be rude to anyone, ever. It's understandable what you were trying to do, but you don't want to treat rudeness with more rudeness. That's not going to teach her anything. She needs a lesson in manners; so when she is around, start acknowledging her in a positive way. Always greet her, and NEVER whisper or tell secrets to each other around her. That could be considered very rude in itself. Remember, you need to be her teacher.
No one can control another person, no matter what. No matter what you do, it seems like she will always weasel her way into the group; so make the best of it. Treat her with loving kindness and act like you WANT her there. See how she responds. Then, see how you feel when you do that. You all might come to some kind of revelation!
You never know with this girl... She might be used to having to force her way in to conversation at home. She may not have the best family life. Her acting this way might be how she has learned to survive. Try to consider what may the the underlying reason for her bad behavior. No one is perfect. She might just be looking for a little love... just like everyone else.