G-Pandaa., 14

Stuff Going On

G-Pandaa., 14

I just feel like killing myself right now. I feel like I've made so many mistakes, in such little time. First off, I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend. My parents are the type who are really strict. They want me to have a boyfriend when I'm all done with my studies; so, I decided to date behind my parents' back. I liked/loved my boyfriend for 4-5 years, and we've been together kind of for a long time. The thing is, one time we kind of went far - as in I gave him a couple of hickies. His parents saw, and he told me that his parents want to talk to my parents. I feel like I messed up bad, and things got carried away. I told my dad I LIKED my boyfriend at least, but he doesn't know we are dating. I just don't want disappointment from either one of my parents. I'm so sick of myself right now. My boyfriend's parents probably don't like me, and just imagining how my parents will react, makes me feel worse. I feel like everything's my fault, and I just want to die.

G-Pandaa, every teenager disappoints their parents at one time or another. There's really no getting around it. It's called "living and learning". It's happened to all of us; even your parents! You are not alone.
When your parents talk to you about this incident, it's best to be completely honest with them. Let them know how you have felt about this boy and let them also know that you are sorry for disappointing them. Your parents were teenagers once. They know how it feels to be "young and in love".
Your parents reaction may not be as bad as you think it will be. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
At any rate, you will probably have then chance to discuss this with them, and work on what you will do in the future. Maybe you can work out some kind of compromise on spending time with your boyfriend so that you don't feel like you have to sneak around. Everyone might feel better this way.
You may also want to apologize to your boyfriend's parents for possibly disappointing them as well.
What happened is not the end of the world, and should not be something you should feel like killing yourself over. If for any reason you seriously consider suicide, please contact Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453. You can call 24/7.