When I was starting the eighth grade, I was convinced I was a lesbian. I stopped believing that rather quickly, and by sophomore year, I was sure I was straight . . . somewhere along the line I was no longer convinced.
I'm now a junior, and I'm the president and founder of the gay-straight alliance. This is something I've been wanting to found since junior high, and have been working on getting up and running for a few years now.
There's a lesbian girl in one of my classes. She plans on joining the gay-straight alliance. The scary thing for me is that I seem to have developed a crush on her. I really thought I was over this, I really thought that had just been a phase I went through. But when she said she was a lesbian, it opened up the door for thoughts I hadn't entertained in a long time. I can't help but notice how adorable she is, I can't help but want her to notice me, kiss me.
I don't know what this means, and I don't know what to do. I've always had a religious inclination, and have recently become a regular church-goer. I don't know if I'm just 'psyching myself out' and have convinced myself I like her because I found out she's gay.
I know I'm adept at convincing myself of things that aren't true; but recently, I've gotten a bit better at not jumping and convincing myself of false things. I don't know what course of action to take.
What should I do?
- itsybitsynerd, congratulations on becoming an officer of the gay-straight alliance at your school. It's natural to experience some confusion as you develop sexually. It's not uncommon to go through phases of believing you are gay or straight and then finding out later on that you are not that way at all.
- Sexual development takes time. Years. Many teens find themselves attracted to the same sex as they grow up; but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are gay or lesbian. Hormones are raging when you're a teen and you will probably experience all kinds of different feelings.
- We will often not encourage a younger teen to come out as gay, lesbian or bisexual because those feelings are very common amongst teens. Not everyone talks about it, though. Those feelings can change, and they very often do.
- If you're not sure how you're feeling, just sit back and become an observer of yourself. Try not to judge your feelings. See if your feelings get stronger toward this girl and last, or if they are fleeting and change over time.
- You may find yourself experienting if this relationship develops. Always pay attention to your feelings and learn to trust your gut. Only you will know what course of action to take.