aweome44, 16

Stuff Going On

aweome44, 16

I recently came out as bi-sexual to a select group of my friends, but I'm really beating myself up because I'm in love with my best friend, who's male. He knows and is okay with it, but it pains me to know that my feelings will never be reciprocated. I literally spend every second of the day thinking about him, he also has a heart condition that could take him at any time. I'm worried that he may be gone too soon before we can even work through anything. It's difficult because I'm the only out kid at my school, so the friends that know about my sexuality have to keep it a secret from everybody.

aweome44 being a teenager is tough and being bi-sexual can make things more difficult. It is good that you have a group of friends who know and accept you for who you are.
Be happy that your friend (the one you are in love with) is alright with your sexuality and still wishes to remain friends, too many times people freak out when learning things of this nature about the people they are close to.
Enjoy every moment you have with your friend, so you will have many good memories if he passes.
Also remember that death is a natural part of the circle of life and that even though your friends is sick and his life may be shortened because of this that no-one knows when they are going to die. Treasure life, live each day to its fullest, and be grateful for all that you have.
Keeping secrets can be difficult, but at least you and your group of friends have each other and you are no longer having to carry this alone, keeping secrets from them. Talking with your friends often can make things easier and less strained.
You may also want to consider talking to your parents, if you have not already and possibly come out to them. Sharing your feelings with people you care about and trust can reduce stress and tension.