I have a stalker. I am not over-exaggerating. I really do have a stalker. I met him last semester and he asked me out. I said "yeah" even though I was not that attracted to him. Everyone deserves a chance. After a day I realized he was super creepy. He kept touching me and I did not like that at all. I broke up with him.
He obviously didn't understand it was the end. He kept showing up at every one of my classes and he kept walking with me. Did he not understand he was being ignored?
After a while he stopped talking to me. I thought it was done but this semester he just popped up again. The way he looks at me even makes me uncomfortable. I really do not want to hurt his feelings so when he asks for a hug I give him one even though it makes me uncomfortable.
He is also making it hard for me to talk to any other boys. He keeps telling people I'm his girl and keeps asking me for a second chance. How do I get him to leave me alone for good without hurting his feelings? I hate that I am so nice!!!
- absitively, it's great that you care about possibly hurting another person's feelings. Most people don't want to intentionally hurt another person.
- Please know that you are contributing to this situation by sending him mixed messages. If hugging him makes you uncomfortable, don't hug him. Your hug at this point is meaningless, and does nothing for either one of you.
- Being nice doesn't necessarily mean doing what others want you to do at your own expense. You're not being very nice to yourself when you do this.
- Sometimes being nice means being brutally honest.
- Beecause you are such a caring kind of person, make a point to have a talk with this guy to tell him how you really feel. Tell him you understand he wants you; but the feelings are not mutual. Explain to him nicely that you hugged him because you simply didn't want to hurt his feelings. Let him know you will not be doing that in the future unless it's a genuine reflection of your feelings toward him. Tell him you do not want him showing up at your classes anymore.
- Please make your mom aware of what has gone on with this boy.
- Also let someone at school know about what's been happening as well after you have this talk with the guy. Giving them a "heads-up" on the history of this situation, and tell them you just wanted to let someone know what has gone on.
- Please don't put off having this talk. It's only fair to make it crystal clear to him how you really feel and what you want and do not want.